Don’t lie.

Today’s tip was prompted by a discussion over at Medium Pimpin.

Don’t lie in your subject lines to try and fool people into opening them. If you have to do that, you have failed.

Build up permission to talk to your audience and they will want to read your emails.

Some suggestions for a winback subject line:

Damian, we really miss you.

Damian, where have you been?

Damian, it’s been ages…

Soooooo much more for you to see now

I’d like to know your thoughts on our new pics

Always use personalisation, and never lie.

The Old One Two.

I am going to spunk my load for you now and share with you the best thing I have worked out during the 8 years I’ve done email marketing.

And it is a piece of piss.

I call it The Old One Two and it works like this.

You send out your nice shiny HTML email offer for a free trial for your new website. It gets an OK response. You then segment the people that didn’t take up your offer and you send them a plain text email. With the from address as a real person in your company. It reads like this:

Hey Andy

Hope all is well with you. I sent you an email last week with an offer to take up a free trial to my new big boob website. I know you like that sort of thing, and I noticed you hadn’t taken the free trial?

It really is a free trial. There’s no catch or con. If you don’t want to pay for the site, you just cancel. And it’s really easy to cancel. No fuss.

I just really wanted you to see my new videos. I am so sure you will love them!

Let me know what you think of the film with the two girls playing with each others titties on the side of the highway!

Lots of love

Laura x

And it’s that simple. You will see your usual response rate for the first email, but around 80% in your second. It is the joy of The Old One Two.

Clearly, I am using a free trial for a big boob site as an example. It could just as well be a special offer for a hosting company, or a designer doing $10 banners, or whatever.

Let me know in the comments if you try this. I promise you, it’s gold!

Marketing FAIL

Paul Markham, you all know him, did a marketing fail this week. He posts on the boards saying he needs a grand for new glasses.

Here it is on B&B

And here it is on GFY

Now, you may need a little backstory. Paul’s trophy wife was in a car accident and nearly died, so he posts on the boards asking for money.

Paul then had cancer so he posts on the boards asking for money.

Neither of these two things were jokes.

Now, he posts on the boards begging for a grand for glasses, and then claims it was a joke!

I know he is old so should be cut some slack, but really, if the only way you can get attention to your product is to lie about needing glasses, then it might be time to rethink your branding strategy. “Buy content from Paul Markham, cos his wife was in a road accident and he had cancer. And needs glasses.”

Not really compelling coming from someone who is one of the oldest shooters we have here.

Here are some other thoughts on how I would do his marketing.

1) Start a photography tips section on GFY and post in it once a week with tips. You have a lifetime of experience. So I would focus (hah) on that, rather than your horribly unlucky personal life.

2) Have a BTS cam in your studio so people can watch you/your wife do a shoot. Let the people learn by watching

3) Set up a porn photography tips blog and post tips, with example pictures. Show what happens when you have problems and how you fix them.

4) Ask to give seminars at the shows, and then actually give the talks. I know you boasted about getting a free pass for one of the shows and then not doing the talk. That is just bad show. You should engage your audience.

5) Set up an email newsletter – special offers, hints and tips, masterclasses, commentry etc

6) Reel in your chin on your board persona.

7) (via Chloe) Why not shoot some decent content people want to buy

There you go. 6 positives tips Paul could take from this. And one snarky one. But really, don’t cry wolf Paul. When you really need help, the porn community can be a generous place.

Twitter and SEO

Well, there is this bloke called Gary who I don’t like very much. He runs a site called arsewithclass. That’s not actually his site, he just was too stupid to buy the of his quasi-brand.

I got just to take the piss out of him. That domain is now 5th on google for the term arsewithclass.

Not sure how repeatable that is, but I am going to experiment a bit. Interesting how quickly it happened, as it only took about 10 days. Could you link your anchor text to a twitter account name? Could you use your domain? Or a traffic term you are interested in…Hmm. Let’s do some tests.

Newsletter idea

Today, I was writing the weekly newsletter for and had an idea to make the membership appear more attractive.

You can get ALL of their exclusive content along with all the fresh, never seen before girls too. All for 75p a day. That is SUCH good value, what are you waiting for? Click here to join. Existing members click here to see this week’s filthy updates.

So, the final call to action, was to pre-existing members of the site, designed to make it enticing and like you got more if you were a member. I’ll let you know how the clicks went next week.

What happens if everyone is wrong about piracy?

So, what happens if the porn industry realises it was wrong about piracy?

Let me start by saying I am not a fan of piracy, nor do I condone it. However, I think that some people have blamed everything to do with their falling revenues on piracy and I am not sure that is sensible.

The Music and Film industries have just come out and admitted they made up most of the figures about piracy. (No shock there). It’s pretty hard to keep saying an industry is being fucked by pirates that continues to beat all historical revenues.

The porn industry still claims that it is those devious pirates. But has no actual evidence to prove this. Clearly, tube sites have had SOME effect on porn sales, but they be all and end all? I’m not convinced.

What if it wasn’t piracy, but the industry itself that was to blame?

People who download stolen content do not represent a lost sale. They were never GOING to buy your stuff. Just like the x million that downloaded that last blockbuster movie. That isn’t a lost sale. It’s just someone downloading a movie.

Now, the record and movies had it right for ages, they could do anything and it would sell. There wasn’t much choice. The big five went through the vinyl revolution, then tape, then CD, then high end CD, and refused to accept digital. They sold what they wanted to consumers and the consumer had no choice. Then iTunes happened and there was choice and consumers bought digitally. Just the tracks they wanted. Low and behold, they make money. How successful is netflix? Why on earth would you PAY when you can pirate movies? Because it is good service? Good quality? Fair pricing? You can stream it to your xbox…

Porn has been fisting it’s customers for years. Diallers, circle jerks, hidden x-sales, banged credit cards, making it impossible to cancel (Playboy UK made people WRITE A PHYSICAL LETTER to cancel!!). etc.

Then comes the content. It stopped being good, didn’t it? Generic porn is everywhere. Shot by idiots with a camera and a copy of premiere of FCP. For every Dean Capture or Met Art there is a DVTimes or an ArseWithClass. They actually think they are making porn. They aren’t. They are pointing a camera at a naked girl. Not the same thing at all.

So, it kind of echoes music, doesn’t it? They fucked people for ages, then the people went ‘fuck you we are using Napster’. Then they said ‘ok you can download stuff but with DRM’. The people said fuck you we’re using piracy. Then they finally acquiesed and are letting people buy what they want how they want and it is working. They are making a fortune again.

Can you see the parallel here?

Why doesn’t the porn industry have a think about what they could learn from the mistakes the music and movie industry has made.

Did mass law suits stop piracy? No. It encouraged it by making people aware of thepiratebay etc. Did government legislation work? No, Sweden, France, China have not decreased piracy at all since they passed their laws. Sweden has increased the use of encryption though. The problem is the people making the laws have no idea how the technology works. And why it is pointless trying to stop it.

Maybe – and this is really out there – we should make a better product and sell it at a price people want to pay and make it easy for them to buy it?

What about the free-mium model? Works brilliantly for apps. Why not porn?

What about added value? Like NiN’s Trent Reznor making 750k in 3 days selling his last album even when he was giving away the songs for free on torrents?

Just some thoughts. Seems to be working for the other content providers.

Love to hear what you think in the comments…

Your B2B porn advertising plans…

Let’s keep this simple. Lots of you spend money on advertising with explicit calls to actions for people to become customers. Not always the best of ideas. Because many people are not ready to buy from you just cos you bought an ad in XBiz. So what can you do with that full page ad in order to generate CASH. Let’s face it, you bought the ad to make money, not just for shits and giggles. Well, what you can do is try and turn the reader into a lead.

Turn strangers into friends and friends into customers. Do not expect your advert to always get the phone ringing and people desperate to buy. So, if we know that, what can we get the ad to do? Get someone to give you permission to market to them later. That is, just get them to become a lead.

How can you do that?

Simple, you offer them a bribe. Let’s say you are a hosting company. You could advertise offering a free PDF on what to look into when choosing a host. If you were PussyCash you could offer a guide to webmeisters on how to make more money from Cams. If you were an SEO, you could offer free PDF on top ten things you can do for FREE to increase your SERPS.

In return, you get their email address. And you can use that to market to later on. DO NOT spam this address. DO NOT send them irrelevant bullshit. What to do with the email address I will cover in another post…

Trade Show Sponsorship Challenge

Right. Today I am posting a challenge.

We just had Phoenix Forum. Great show. Lots of biz done. However, I cannot, for the life of me, remember a single sponsor of the show. I drank lots of free drinks. I ate lots of free food.

How much did the sponsors spend, and how much ROI do they get?

Brand marketing certainly has a place, but you need to make sure people remember the brand. When you are one of 20 companies donating 10k to a show, what can you do to actually achieve standout?

Can *you* remember who was the sponsor for which party? I guess PussyCash and CyberSocket sponsored some of my drinks (based on the logic that they always do), but I am not sure which ones…

Is that a good way to spend several grand? Maybe, be there needs to be some more creative work done to make sure everyone knows who is buying your drinks.

Coasters/napkins. Branded cups. More than one body painted girl walking about. Signage. Training the barstaff to say “here is your beer, courtesy of PussyCash”. It’s not *hard* to do. You just need to make a little more effort.

Chat Roulette idea

Get model.

Get her naked.

Put her on Chat Roulette.

Screen cap the reactions. As it is 95% men wanking, the reactions will be jaw dropping. A real naked girl! They will freak. Edit results into amusing ‘improv piano guy’ type video.

End with slate saying “to see more of Ruth, visit”.

That is all.

Oh and big love to everyone in Phoenix who told me they read this blog and really like it. Always nice to hear!

Seed to viral sites.

Video of my new BROlex

Lovely gave me the best Golden Shower Hello yesterday to celebrate the start of me helping him make more money with his excellent site. Here is a video of it.

Hell yeah. I’m a playa now, homes.