Ever worry a site is down?

Check your domain with the excellent:


Use Twitter to find out when to send your email newsletter

Now this is brilliant. Use Twitter to find out when to send your email newsletter. Obviously, which day of the week and what time you send your email newsletters can change how effectively they work. But when to send? Loads of testing right? Nope.

Just pop along to http://search.twitter.com and type in some keywords related to your niche and porn in general. Note the RSS feed for this query. Pop that into your google reader account (get one here if you don’t have one).

Click show details the top right and you see a blank graph. After a few days this will show some fantastic data on what day of the week, month and time that people were talking about your niche.

This data tells you when you should be sending out your newsletter. Clever, eh?

PurelyNSFW.com, purelynsfw, Sean Hickey = spammers

You may remember a while ago, a clueless spammer called Sean Hickey from PurelyNSFW.com spammed me. I explained how it was a really bad way to try and get new business, he threatened me with legal action, I laughed.

Guess what, the clueless monkey has done it again!

I complained.

He sent more abusive emails.


I thought anyone interested in purelyNSFW.com would be interested to see how the conduct themselves. Here is the email thread:


Dear Damian,
We own and run www.PurelyNSFW.com, which Alexa rank as a top 100K Website globally and sub 40,000 in the USA. We achieve millions of monthly visitors through giving our readers what they want, without popups or over advertising. This means our click through rates are excellent.
The vast majority of our readers are of credit card spending age between 21-35 years of age and a massive 70% of these readers reside in the USA. We are now actively seeking new adult companies to advertise with us. This follows the successful completion of campaigns on behalf of some of the biggest names in the last quarter.In terms of advertisers, we look to ensure we do not bombard the reader with to many ads as we believe this lessens the impact and therefore results. This means that when we do run a campaign the click through rates are much higher than average.
We are able to offer bespoke campaigns with content to match the product or site being sold. From straight banner ads to full campaigns sponsoring some of our popular series, we have the content to attract the sales to you. All of our campaigns are cost effective and ensure you get great returns. We want to build long term relationships, so our opening charges for first time campaigns are extremely competitive.

If you are interested in discussing this further, please either reply to this email or you can also contact us on ICQ 620790064.

Thanks for reading.


Sean Hickey

Project Head




I politely replied:


Hi Sean

I make it a rule never to do business with people that spam me.
All the best
Sean Hickey of PurelyNSFW.com then went on some kind of meltdown rant sending me email after email abusing me.
To clarify,
We run adult Websites specifically designed to sell the services of affil progs, camsites etc. We looked up 3wayscash.com and found your contact details noted under the heading – help/marketing/partners. We then sent you a specific email addressed to you, with a personal salutation discussing the current options for advertising on one of our sites.
THIS IS NOT SPAM – but you are an idiot who just mad a GIANT fool of himself.
Then another…
Now, a third email just because it is clear now who you are. The idiot behind adultmarketing.co.uk. What a SAD LITTLE IDIOT you are. Now go away an ‘conjure’ up some other angle to annoy hard working people…
We had decided from legal advice not to take action against your sites post but now you are actually attempting to harrass we will be re-instating our line of litigation. Especially as we now have your postal address.
And another:
Oh and…
For someone who is blacklisted for placing spam comments on peoples sites (YOU), I think you should review who you accuse of anything.
And another
We sent an email to you regarding the 3wayscash program. We sent it to the email address listed publicly for marketing and partner enquiries. How does this fall under unsolicited? The legal definition is void when you place an email address on a public site asking for contacts to be passed to that email address.
Poor little sprat doesn’t understand the word unsoliclited, nor commercial, nor email.
Now, everyone in adult knows that if you are selling traffic it means you cannot monetise it yourself. So it is shit traffic. No one sells good traffic. Because, well, why would they?
Shame PurelyNSFW.com have such bad traffic they cannot make anything with it. And shame they feel spamming is a legitimate way to try and sell this shit traffic to people who are so stupid that they think Alexa is a good measure.
It amused me, anyway.
Anyone that would like help with writing emails to go to double opt in accounts, let me know. I can show you how to make your mailing list work, rather than spamming random addresses you scrape from google.

Increase the click through rate on ALL your buttons overnight.

This seems to obvious, but no one does it.

There are probably whole books written on this, but it boils down to this:

Green = go
Red = stop

Humans are used to these cues from colours. Red traffic light means you have to stop. Green traffic light means you go. It’s universal.

How many of your call to action buttons are green? I make all my clients alter them to be green and I have seen – via splt tests – that is makes a HELL of a difference.

Correct colour/color for call to action button

Correct colour/color for call to action button

Try it, let me know how you get on.


Oh porn designers and porn sites, why do you not know about the basics of branding?

A logo and a logotype are two different things.

The nike swoosh is a logo. The font used for the work nike is a logotype.

Why don’t porn sites apply the same branding as the mainstream?

Silly little tip…

Display names on email.

Test them.

I found when I was working with Playboy UK that a fake girl’s name got a MUCH better open rate than anything that mentioned Playboy.

Now that may seem obvious, but I see SO many emails with display name RANDOM PORNO SITE that I had to just quickly post this tip.

Stuff you have no excuse not to do #1

When you send email, do a A/B test. For the love of God. Why should you?

1) It is simple to do
2) You will get a better open rate
3) You will sell more porn

So, take 5-10% of your database and send half of them your email with subject line a and the other half get subject line b. This could be:

a – Wanna see a pillow fight?
b – I’ve got something to show you…

Record which one got the highest open rate. Send the victorious subject line to the remainder of your database.

It’s really super simple, and you will get more cash.

Pilot episode of PornBeer is now online

So, I thought I’d try something new. Well, I’ve not seen it before. But essentially it is a video podcast reviewing porn sites. It will feature interviews with porn stars further down the line. It is meant to just be a mildly amusing show with two guys drinking beer and chatting about boobies.

Head on over to www.pornbeer.com for the pilot shonky episode.

Apologies in advance for the lighting, sound, editing, content and shameful ripping off of Diggnation.

However, if you have a site you want reviewed, please get in touch.

How to get people to click on a banner ad

It’s simple really. Do stuff that no one ever does in a banner ad.

This is all stemming from Seth Godin’s excellent Purple Cow book. In that, he basically states that all ads are failing because everyone has seen them before therefore they do not react when they see them. In fact, they don’t actually *see* the banner ads according to Neilson’s banner blindness theory.

So, what do you need to do? Just do ANYTHING that porn ads don’t always do. So you can start off by ruling out things:

- no tits or ass
- no eye bleeding colours
- no CLICK ME blink tag stuff

Imagine you are a surfer. What would catch your eye?

How about something like this? Not seen on porn sites. Unusual.


Adult B2B ads are even harder. Because porn webmasters are even more jaded. However, for the 3wayscash.com affiliate programme I managed to get a banner clicked on around 400% more than other ads. How? When you pay for the first month retainer for me working on the marketing and PR for YOUR site, I might tell you. If you ask nicely.

How to take control of a trade show for no budget

It’s a common problem. You want to get attention at a trade show but there is no budget. So what do you do?

Employ me to do your adult marketing, obviously!

I created an entire marketing campaign for 3wayscash.com featuring an entire fake brand called Cash In Envelope. 3wayscash wanted to push the brand name and sign up new affiliates. Here is how I helped them get more affiliates.

Cash In Envelope was a made up Russian payment processor where people sent you cash in an envelope. I bought the domain and set up a microsite. I made up an intro video:

I contacted Eric at GFY and he agreed to me having a fake nick on the board. I also posted on several other small boards as IvorCashInEnvelope a few weeks before Webmaster Access Amsterdam. The usual “THANKS FOR THE INFO’S” nonsense posts.

The plan was to bumrush the cocktail party at WMA dressed as Ivor, with 3 helpers. So we did. And it worked. I gave out envelopes, hand stamped with a rubber stamp with the domain and real fake rubles inside.

JFK took pictures.

Cash In Envelope take over WMA

Cash In Envelope take over WMA

The boards roared with laughter. The show roared with laughter and traffic to cashinenvelope.com went up dramatically.

Actual, measurable proof that the stunt worked:

Traffic spike from trade show activity

Traffic spike from trade show activity

I released a video after the show of Ivor talking with various industry luminaries:

Getting attention at an adult trade show

Getting attention at an adult trade show

And the video created more of a buzz on the boards and even more traffic to the sponsor site, 3wayscash.com.

And the cost? Almost nothing! The Tshirts and taches were 50 bucks. The people were free as they were staff (and my noble, lovely, obliging girlfriend).

If you would like to talk to me about how to create a trade show buzz for your brand, please get in touch now.