You guys are fucking up Twitter still.

Serious question.

For MOST people in porn, the idea of twitter is to promote your site to consumers, right? OK.

Now you know your timeline gets content from all the people you follow, right? So your potential customers read your twitter timeline and also see all the tweets from all the people you follow? Right? OK.

So WHY THE FUCK do you all want to follow each other’s B2C twitter spam?

Seriously, why?

The more B2C from other people you fill your stream with, the more chance one of your followers will fuck off to someone else’s site to buy.

I just have no clue as to why you all do this, all the time? Can someone explain what I’m missing?

Does a forum for plumbers have them all following each others plumbing spam tweets?

Srsly, I don’t get it, please leave a comment explaining why you do it?

Customers are king, not content.

Paul Markham has been sharing with us his genius retarded ideas about why you should use download limiters and choke PAYING CUSTOMERS bandwidth over at the zoo. He also thinks that rotating content gives you high retention.

Most people told him he was being an idiot to punish legit punters like this.

As usual, he wouldn’t listen.

But it seems his customers are REALLY pissed off with him about it. Let’s take a look at Rabbits…

Comments by: Recycled, Rotated, Redated – Score: 60/100 – Date: 11/25/2009
The same photos are just recycled. I know because I’ve joined numerous times when my favorite model’s set are all on the site at the same time. I swear off porn, delete everything, and rejoin on the 3-day trial months later to download Steffi’s (Ameile on their site) 3 old photo sets. The content is low and picture quality, “vintage”. Some old classic stuff. On the plus side, I like PM’s poses – more explicit and natural. Girl next door, not too glammed up like Twistys or DDF for example. If there were more content, new content, and none of the constant recycling of old material, I’d give this site a much higher score.

Comments by: Night Bird – Score: 70/100 – Date: 1/5/2009
Content rotation kills this site. This site is made for the trial member, because if you stay monthly you will just see the same old videos disappear and then reappear as new releases over and over and over. Some of the content is good, but there needs to be more new material and the content rotation must stop. Content rotation kills this site. This site is made for the trial member, because if you stay monthly you will just see the same old videos disappear and then reappear as new releases over and over and over. Some of the content is good, but there needs to be more new material and the content rotation must stop.

Comments by: nightowl – Score: 75/100 – Date: 6/3/2008
Too much recyling by date changes. CHEATING!!!!

Comments by: former member – Score: 100/100 – Date: 4/5/2008
not worth paying and it s cheating – ading old files and new updates by simpyl chaning dates of the files.

Comments by: SgtSally – Score: 25/100 – Date: 2/11/2008
Sorry, the site doesn t come up to standards. The gals aren t that cute for the most part. Too old and usually flawed in some way – teeth, boobs, skin. Something is almost always off. The site limit wasn t a problem for me but I really didn t download all that much after I had a look around.

Comments by: Sam – Score: 5/100 – Date: 8/20/2007
If you like downloading stuff and have broadband access, forget this site. It has a huge archive and new stuff everyday but they don t want you to download it. you can only download 1 file at a time and if you download too much they suspend your account for 24h! and the limit is like 500mb per day! Plus downloads are very slow, i rarely get more than 200kB/s and on other sites i can DL at 1200kB/s

Comments by: Pete – Score: 60/100 – Date: N/A
If you want to download, keep on surfing past this site! Multiple server resets, broken links, download limiters etc. Only ONE video download at a time! And if you want HC boy/girl video, the content is miniscule, and most of the teens are 30 year olds in pigtails. Good young looking solo video/photo, but the download restrictions make this site an overall 0 to me.

This is the problem that was written ago in The ClueTrain in 1999. Our customers are now an interconnected community. And they share information if you offer a shit product.

Remember, it’s 2011. Bandwidth is really cheap. If you are LUCKY enough to get someone prepared to hand you over actual cash money for your site, don’t fuck them over.

If you are worried about a 3 buck trial burning your bandwidth, don’t offer a 3 buck trial.

Treat a paying punter like a god, not a pain in the ass.

September shows

Oh god. Now YNOT are planning a Euro awards show at The BarcelonaPrague Summit?


FFS. So, we had WMA Amsterdam for the last, 8 years? Cool. Then someone thought to tack Oktoberfest on the end for those that wanted to carry on. Cool. OK, I can see that. Then Xbiz thought, let’s do a London show just before Amsterdam. All the Americanland people fly to London first anyway, so that makes sense. And then The Barcelona Prague Summit decides to go the on at the same time too? Jesus.

AND then to differentiate it, YNOT are trying to get an awards show together?

This is innovation?

Sad day.

After AVN/Xbiz slowly dying over the last few years the thought is to do an awards show to differentiate Prague?


That’s the best you can do?


I could come up with a dozen unique ideas to differentiate a show, and I promise you an award no one cares about isn’t one of them.

Lower thirds on tubes?

CAVEAT – I’ve never seen a lower third on a tube, if there are tubes doing it, ignore this entire post. Oh and please link me to a tube doing it in the comments.

OK, so why are there no lower third ads on tubes?

Really though, I was just watching something on youtube and the horrible google lower third ad came on. And I thought to myself, why the hell aren’t tube sites doing that. Or *any* creative ad positioning?

Banners. Text links. Big woop.

Why isn’t anyone thinking creatively about the medium and how you could offer advertisers something extra, something out of the ordinary.

I very rarely see prerolls, don’t think I’ve ever seen a post roll and never seen a lower third.

So, there’s your idea for today. If Fabian is reading this and implements it, well, you owe me. :)

Gosh it’s been a while

Hello again. Sorry. Been busy.

I set up this blog as a kind of freemium experiment. “If I give away for free what I usually charge for, can I make money?”

And the answer was yes.

I’ve got more work from this blog than any other form of marketing I’ve tried. Which is brilliant, but has meant I have less time to do the thing that got me the work in the first place!

I need to outsource my blogging…

On second thoughts…

I’m just starting work with a new client who isn’t using cascading billing and I thought I would do a quick post about what it is and why you should use it.

Basically, Epoch and CCBill started playing nicely with each other about 4 years ago. So they share some data and links. They both have a proprietary algo for working out if they are going to process the card. This is called a scrub. It uses all sorts of data, inc police stolen card lists etc. Out of the gate, CCBill will decline a certain percentage of perfectly fine cards. This is costing you a lot of cash. If you have cascading set up, when CCBill declines the sale, it automagically gets passed over to Epoch, with the data intact, so the punter only has to press the “OK try again with Epoch” button and hey presto, they get accepted and you get paid.


You can even cascade down again to another 3rd party, or to a phone billing service or whatever.

What about my lovely affiliates I hear you cry! Well, reader, fear not. CCBill and Epoch will both make payouts to sales generated by their competitor! Yup, you can have an aff send you a punter on a CCBill join link, it cascades down to Epoch and the aff will still get the credit and most importantly, the money.

So there is literally nothing to lose, and cash to be gained.

I would estimate you’ll add up to 10% to your bottom line over night from doing implementing a cascade.

It’s simple to do, too.

So, that’s a massive money making tip, for free!

Next time I will cover phone billing and why you should use it in addition to CC payments.

Synergy. And other buzzwords.

When you are trying to drum up new business, don’t use wanky language.

Someone I know posted this on a porn message board.

I’m not going to discuss he used SYNERGY in the thread title. But he used ALL these words in one paragraph:

patent-pending, mobile, application, correlative, social-networking, enabling, interact, facilitators,


It’s like he’s playing buzzword bingo.

How about you speak like NORMAL PEOPLE instead?

Really, it’s not hard to avoid wanky words and just pitch a product like you are talking to me down the pub.

This is 2010.

EDIT – company name redacted, because someone from there found this blog and didn’t get the point of the post, point wasn’t to call out the company, but comment on the langauge used.

Making ads more relevant

Why don’t you use more data about who your customers are and serve them more relevant advertising?

So, you have a legal tube. You have a surfer. He searches for bit tit porn. He find it. He watches it and gets lots of ads for things he doesn’t care about.

Why not take the data you have and use that to serve him a relevant advertisement?

Good news about advertising? WTF?

You are not going to fucking believe this.

Turner Group did some research about online ads in 30 minute shows.

First the bad news.

They concluded when you put a one minute ad in a 30 minute show online, only 40% of people watch the whole show. Not great at all for the content producer.

Now the good news.

If you put 16 minutes ads in that same 30 minute show, 37% of people watch the whole thing.

Are you with me?

That means they made 16 times as much revenue from the same piece of content whilst losing only 3% of their eyeballs.

I am sure I don’t need to spell this out to you, but if you applied that logic to porn sites, you could multiple your revenue 16 fold.

There you go, I’ve saved the industry. :)

Further reading:

PS Now, HuluPlus manages to charge a subscription fee AND stream ads too. Think about THAT for a second.

Entire marketing campaign inside. Free.

This seems so obvious to me, I suspect it must have been done, but I’ve never seen it and google isn’t showing me any love so I am going to post it.

You remember those Chose Your Own Adventure books? The non-linear titles where at the end of each chapter you roll a die or make a decision and then turn to a page number to carry on your adventure? If not, go read up about them here.

All done?


So, if it’s not obvious already, the essential idea is to shoot a short non-linear porn adventure and use it as an advertisement. It would be non-nude to maximise the chance of it going viral. It would be funny to also help push it viral.

A rough concept to show you the idea:

Guy in office wanting to fuck the hot secretary.

Scene 1

Guy sees secretary go to the water cooler and ambles over slowly. Eyeing her up and down. Gets to cooler, she smiles and says “Hi honey did you have a good weekend? I went out clubbing with friends and got kinda loaded. It got pretty…wild…What did you get up to?”

A slate then comes up with your choices:

Do you say:

a) I stayed in and watched Buffy season two box set and got a pizza
b) Hung out back stage with , I used to go to college with him
c) I am not allowed out because I am under house arrest

The video then plays one of three responses depending on how you reply.

This carries on through a series of clips. If you make the wrong choice, you get dumped back at the beginning. If you choose wisely, the scene progresses to…a fondle in the stationary cupboard, a kiss at the xmas party, a drink after work, a date, getting back to her place and then…

You find out she is a model for DOMAIN.COM

Or whatever you want the punchline to be.

The suggestion idea is just loose, and it could be ANYTHING. The point is, it is a non-linear flash movie where you can click and get different results that will be both titillating and amusing.

This is used in email, print, banner advertising, landing pages, 404s, everything you can think of.

“What do YOU want to happen next…”

So often a creative idea isn’t carried out across multiple media choices. Research proves that if you do use a variety of media, the effect of your campaign is multiplied massively. Milward Brown published a paper on this. Read it here. This Choose Your Own Adventure idea would work wonderfully across all types of advertising. It would capture people’s attention because it is so different.

It would be technically easy to do with a locked off camera. It would be very cheap to do, as you could just tag it onto an existing shoot as it is non-nude and simple. It would give you content to use in banner ads, emails, text ads, print and even tv or radio.

I had the idea years ago when I worked at Playboy and I resigned before it got made. But I’d love to see it happen…

Double your email CTR [simple tip]

Put the words “click for more” on all your thumbs in the email in a diagonal corner flash.

That’s it.

I did that for Playboy UK’s email newsletter and the CTR literally doubled over night.

Simple things can be so effective.