FaceTime Porn?

Who has seen FaceTime? The new video conferencing thing on iPhone 4?

Right, so what do we need to do to get this for livecams?

It would be awesome. But how would you get access and how would people pay?

Someone needs to work this out.

Here’s an out there idea. How about an Honesty Box? Wait wait wait. I don’t know if this happens in the US, but here sometimes you see regular people just selling something (often veg or fruit from their garden) at the end of their drive. They will have the stuff there and an honesty box where you have to put in the amount of money they have priced the produce at.

Could something like this work for Face Time?

Could you get people to pay in advance for a FaceTime call with a webgirl?

If so, then it would work. Descrete, fast, personal. It would be the ultimate portable webcam wank…

Just throwing this stuff out there, some of it will stick…

What do you think? Is there another way us filthy pornographers could take advantage of the Iphone FaceTime?

Well done suicidegirls.com

Oh fuck me this is clever.

Suicidegirls.com have done a ‘review’ of the new jesusphone. Essentially the review is them taking pics of girls’ tits and posting them on the internet.

New iPhone + pics of breasts = traffic trap!

Why didn’t I think of it :(

Very clever marketing.

Welcome the big and small

Nice announcement to make. I have picked up two new clients, one thanks to this very blog!

www.cinemaerotique.com is a small site with great potential. “Boutique pornography” is my attempt at a new strapline. All really well filmed on proper HD kit, with stuff many people forget about. Like lighting. And decent mics. I will be working with the owners on how to make additional revenue on the site and how to maximise the conversions they currently get. First job is getting a new tour up and popping it into Google Website Optimizer.

The other new client is a tiny company you won’t have heard of called Playboy UK. I will be trying to help them improve the revenue their online department currently makes. Playboy was my first ever job in porn, so it’s really cool to be going back now after a few years away.

Oh and another client has just launched their new website. And we’re sure it is a totally unique idea! Imagine that, a new idea in porn!

www.iwantitlikethis.com is the first interactive online porn site. Featuring content from Playboy UK’s The Adult Channel, this site lets you control the action and see just what you want to see. It’s brilliant technology. Check it out.

Shit, I will soon have to start employing someone else!

Don’t slag off your competition.

I recently read some marketing advice aimed at porn companies where they suggest you research your competition (good idea) then in your advertising they suggest you trash your competition.

As a concept, it is a very popular thing to do in America. Subway ads where they say Quiznos sucks. Etc. It is A VERY STUPID thing to do in porn though. For a number of reasons.

a) Often times, your surfer will be totally unaware of your competition. So you are just advertising them on your dollar. After the top 10 brands in porn, no one really has heard of anyone. So why alert YOUR surfer to a site which features similar content to your own?

b) Sell on why YOUR product is good, not why a competitors is bad. If you only sell on negatives of your competition it makes you look like a teenager who has just been dumped for the first time:

“Yeah, well Katie had a fat ass anyway, I never liked her, and her blowjobs were dreadful”

So you pick:

Sign up for our site and you get instant access to a 5 year archive of busty content. All exclusive. Only 60 cents a day.

or

Sign up for our site, it is way better than bustybustybusty.com. They don’t update regularly and some of the content isn’t exclusive!

It’s not hard, is it?

Use your own head and think for yourself.

And *this* is how you get people to sign up for your email newsletter

I have no words. I love Hugh. Perfect, perfect, perfect squeeze page.

http://gapingvoid.com/n2/

Any questions?

Don’t make me think.

I’ve been doing marketing work for porn sites for about 6 years now. I’ve worked for people like Playboy, Hustler and Epoch. Of all the money I have ever been given to spend on behalf of another client, the best ROI was usability.

Here is my tip for the day. If you have the money and can find a usability company that will do porn, give them money. I think Playboy spent about 8 grand on it. Not too sure.

But, from that, we made so many changes that made so many more sales and improved ratios so much it was worth it.

You are complacent. You have your site. Your tour works, you like it anyway. So, fuck it eh?

NO. NOT FUCK IT. If you cannot afford a proper agency to help you then buy “Don’t make me think” from Steve Krug. Visit his site, it has some good tips. Read them. Act on them.

Put your new tour and your current tour in google website optimiser (simple and free and yes optimiser has an s not a z).

Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure. Test. Measure.

etc

The language you use

11 years ago the Clue Train was written. I have talked about it before.

A powerful global conversation has begun. Through the Internet, people are discovering and inventing new ways to share relevant knowledge with blinding speed. As a direct result, markets are getting smarter—and getting smarter faster than most companies.

These markets are conversations. Their members communicate in language that is natural, open, honest, direct, funny and often shocking. Whether explaining or complaining, joking or serious, the human voice is unmistakably genuine. It can’t be faked.

Most corporations, on the other hand, only know how to talk in the soothing, humorless monotone of the mission statement, marketing brochure, and your-call-is-important-to-us busy signal. Same old tone, same old lies. No wonder networked markets have no respect for companies unable or unwilling to speak as they do.

But learning to speak in a human voice is not some trick, nor will corporations convince us they are human with lip service about “listening to customers.” They will only sound human when they empower real human beings to speak on their behalf.

While many such people already work for companies today, most companies ignore their ability to deliver genuine knowledge, opting instead to crank out sterile happytalk that insults the intelligence of markets literally too smart to buy it.

However, employees are getting hyperlinked even as markets are. Companies need to listen carefully to both. Mostly, they need to get out of the way so intranetworked employees can converse directly with internetworked markets.

Corporate firewalls have kept smart employees in and smart markets out. It’s going to cause real pain to tear those walls down. But the result will be a new kind of conversation. And it will be the most exciting conversation business has ever engaged in.

So, why on earth, 11 years later, are we still seeing the same on bullshit copy on ads?

IPSPs and hosting companies are absolutely hands down the worst at this. You could replace the logo on ANY billing or host ads and swop them around and no one would notice. Pictures of servers. People in suits. Money. etc. No sensible copy. All cliched, old fashioned, dull and something to ignore. No matter how much they spend on interrupting you, you will pay no attention.

So I am now making a free offer. Anyone reading this blog can use me to tweak copy on their next ad to make it more human and less painfully dull. Yes. Free. Limited to the first 3 people that email me.

If the parties are willing, we’ll do split a/b testing on the ads and post the results here. Should be an interesting experiment.

Argh! Piracy! All my sales are gone! The sky is falling etc

OK. So, let’s take this post from here:

1) Piracy is NOT taking money from you
2) Obscurity is a bigger problem that piracy

So, give everything away.

That’s it. Give it all away. And have it ad-supported. This has worked for years for software companies and is working amazingly well for iphone apps. Here is a massive case study proving it.

So, why is no one trying this for porn. Get content. Give it away for free, but ad supported. Pay to upgrade for no ads and HD video. Not a tube, but a full on paysite.

I bet you 5 bucks it would work.

Very clever email I got

Oh no. I am going to sound like Bruce now because I am using a non-adult example, but bare with me…

Dear Xpad Customer,

I want to first thank you for your past purchase of an Xpad and hope that it is being put to good use!

I am writing to you today to ask for your help. As a small independent company with limited access to large retail distribution channels, we rely on the internet to promote our products. And as a company reliant on internet marketing, product reviews are very important to us – especially those from our customers with first-hand user experience. This is why I am hoping you will help us by posting an Xpad product review on Amazon.com.

As a token of our appreciation, regardless of whether you post a review, please accept this 30% off coupon code (XF1YSQNZLN) as a Father’s Day gift from us.

To post an Xpad review on Amazon.com, please follow the link instructions below. Thank you again for your time and support.

Have a great Father’s Day!

Sincerely,Dear Xpad Customer,

I want to first thank you for your past purchase of an Xpad and hope that it is being put to good use!

I am writing to you today to ask for your help. As a small independent company with limited access to large retail distribution channels, we rely on the internet to promote our products. And as a company reliant on internet marketing, product reviews are very important to us – especially those from our customers with first-hand user experience. This is why I am hoping you will help us by posting an Xpad product review on Amazon.com.

As a token of our appreciation, regardless of whether you post a review, please accept this 30% off coupon code (XF1YSQNZLN) as a Father’s Day gift from us.

To post an Xpad review on Amazon.com, please follow the link instructions below. Thank you again for your time and support.

Have a great Father’s Day!

Sincerely,

Now. That is smart. So I get the coupon for doing nothing. But if I used it, I would obviously feel obliged to write the review.

So, back to porn. We ALL know how important the review sites are, so why not mail your current members and ask them to go to Rabbits and post that they love the site.

Offer them a free month.

There, phew, managed to tie it back to porn at the end!!!
:)

STOP SHOUTING

I don’t know why, but so often essential calls to action or salient sales points on tours and in galls are

WRITTEN FOR NO REASON ALL IN BLOCK CAPS LIKE SHOUTING.

Why?

Who started it and who thought it was good?

Stop it. All reading comprehension research shows people read the shapes of words. (Great article here on this). And to read shapes you need to see the word in lower case.

SO WHEN YOUR SNAPPY SALES MESSAGES ARE ALL IN CAPS PEOPLE DO NOT READ THEM

So, stop it.

Thanks!