This is all stemming from Seth Godin’s excellent Purple Cow book. In that, he basically states that all ads are failing because everyone has seen them before therefore they do not react when they see them. In fact, they don’t actually *see* the banner ads according to Neilson’s banner blindness theory.

So, what do you need to do? Just do ANYTHING that porn ads don’t always do. So you can start off by ruling out things:

- no tits or ass
- no eye bleeding colours
- no CLICK ME blink tag stuff

Imagine you are a surfer. What would catch your eye?

How about something like this? Not seen on porn sites. Unusual.

Adult B2B ads are even harder. Because porn webmasters are even more jaded. However, for the 3wayscash.com affiliate programme I managed to get a banner clicked on around 400% more than other ads. How? When you pay for the first month retainer for me working on the marketing and PR for YOUR site, I might tell you. If you ask nicely.

Employ me to do your adult marketing, obviously!

I created an entire marketing campaign for 3wayscash.com featuring an entire fake brand called Cash In Envelope. 3wayscash wanted to push the brand name and sign up new affiliates. Here is how I helped them get more affiliates.

Cash In Envelope was a made up Russian payment processor where people sent you cash in an envelope. I bought the domain and set up a microsite. I made up an intro video:

I contacted Eric at GFY and he agreed to me having a fake nick on the board. I also posted on several other small boards as IvorCashInEnvelope a few weeks before Webmaster Access Amsterdam. The usual “THANKS FOR THE INFO’S” nonsense posts.

The plan was to bumrush the cocktail party at WMA dressed as Ivor, with 3 helpers. So we did. And it worked. I gave out envelopes, hand stamped with a rubber stamp with the domain and real fake rubles inside.

JFK took pictures.

Cash In Envelope take over WMA

The boards roared with laughter. The show roared with laughter and traffic to cashinenvelope.com went up dramatically.

Actual, measurable proof that the stunt worked:

Traffic spike from trade show activity

I released a video after the show of Ivor talking with various industry luminaries:

Getting attention at an adult trade show

And the video created more of a buzz on the boards and even more traffic to the sponsor site, 3wayscash.com.

And the cost? Almost nothing! The Tshirts and taches were 50 bucks. The people were free as they were staff (and my noble, lovely, obliging girlfriend).

If you would like to talk to me about how to create a trade show buzz for your brand, please get in touch now.

I will:

– help you acquire new members, keep the members you already have and help you win back cancelled members too

– help you develop a (and this is crazy) marketing *plan* with goals, milestones and KPIs you can measure my success by

– help set up deals for you with different sites around the world

And in this blog I will give you free tips and advice you can use improve your adult marketing efforts. So subscribe. That’s free too.

PS Thanks Geezer

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It’s not me doing it. I imagine it is a man called Marion who pretends to be girls on forums whom I outed and got banned from GFY recently. He is clearly trying to get my sites blacklisted for spamming. However, it doesn’t impact me at all as I get very little type in traffic. It’s all direct links.

So, just let akismet do it’s thing, and we can all move on!

Then I saw they had an AOL email address and I decided not to mail them because they are clearly very fucking stupid.

So yes, I judge people based on email addresses.

But they came back, with a different account and did it again. Same thing. Admins kicked them off and edited the pic again.

Now they’ve come back AGAIN and are STILL doing it. I tried to help them, and they just spammed more.

This really is a fucking stupid thing to do because you’ll end up alienating the very people you wish to do business with.

Now what you should do is this:

1) Lurk on the forum for at least a few weeks. Read the board. Get a feel for it.

2) Post responses to popular threads, just joining in like a normal person.

3) That’s it.

Don’t spam, don’t try and ignore the admins, don’t be a cunt.

Someone posted on a forum asking how to set up billing and went for verotel because they didn’t have a long QC process.

Nothing wrong with Verotel, but by only going with them, you’re making a mistake.

There are two big Internet Payment Service Providers, (IPSPs) Epoch and CCBill. Both been around over 10 years, both good and reliable. Then there are a couple of smaller ones like Segpay, Zombiabiioioi etc that will offer you a much lower rate at a much higher risk.

A few years ago they Epoch and CCBill started playing nicely together with cascading billing. This means if you try and join a site via CCBIll and CCBill refuse your card, your deets get parsed to Epoch and they might well accept it.

This alone will add 10% to your bottom line.

They both have different scrubs (the software they use to say if they think it is fraud or not), so one may accept a card the other declines. And viceversa. They also will now parse affiliate codes. So you can get paid out on an Epoch sale if you sent traffic to a CCBill join. All good.

Easy to set up, easy to implement.

Then you add a third payment like Segpay so you can pick up anything the two big guys refuse.

Also, here is a massive tip, unless you do two joins a month, remember that an IPSP’s rate is ALWAYS negotiable. So just ask for a discount. You’ll get one.

Hope that helps some of you. Any questions, email me or post a comment.

Thanks.